Ash learns a dirty word
by AUTHOR QUIT WRITING
Summary: Gary teaches Ash some dirty words and pretends they are all the coolest slang words everyone is using lately. See what happens when Ash starts talking like a sailor. Contains little contestshipping but there is some in there.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own pokémon... damn!

**Author's Note: **I wrote this quick story out of boredom. I was thinking what if Ash learnt some bad words? Then I came up with this :)

**IMPORTANT READ FIRST BEFORE STORY:  
**Gary teaches Ash some swear words and pretends they are 'slang' words. Ash is an idiot and believes him  
Following 'slang (swear) words and meaning: **[Warning people who do not like bad language do not read any further]**  
Shit = Cool  
Fuck = yeah/bad  
Bum = Hug  
Gay = tired  
Homo-fag = Brother  
Wank/wanking = eat/eating  
Titties = Sorry  
Orgasm = Bike  
Anal = Noodles  
Cock = Coke  
Bitch = Best Friend 

* * *

**Ash learns some dirty words**

Ash was running as fast as he could so he could get to Dawn. He had to tell her the new 'slang' words he heard. Dawn would be so jealous if she heard these new words coming out of his mouth first! Ash finally made it to Dawn... well actually he ran into her because he was so excited  
"Hey Dawn I just learnt the shittiest fad right now!" he blurted  
"What?" Dawn asked shocked she heard a bad word come from Ash's mouth but Pikachu cheered  
"Ha I knew you'd be jealous. Oh fuck I am shit!" he shouted. Dawn fainted but luckily Brock came up and caught her  
"Hey Ash. What happened to Dawn?" Brock asked  
"She was jealous because I'm shittier than her." Ash smiled  
"Okay..." Brock said "May just beat Dawn in the contest. We haven't seen May in a while so to celebrate we're going to eat out at the best noodle restaurant in town."  
"Shit!" Ash shouted  
"Do you have tourettes Ash?" Brock asked  
"What's a tourettes?" he asked back  
"Uh never mind... Just clean yourself up a bit. We're meeting May at the restaurant." Brock sighed

Later at the restaurant  
May is standing outside the restaurant with Drew, feeling a little bored. Dawn woke up and now she, Brock, Pikachu and Ash have just made it to the restaurant  
"May I've missed you so much! Bum me!" Ash shouted happily giving May a hug while Pikachu cheered  
"Wh... what?" asked Drew frozen on the spot, eyes widened and mouth open. Surprised at what Ash just said "Are you gay Ash?" he asked  
"No I'm not gay! I'm full of energy and ready to go. I've also missed you, Drew. You're like a homo-fag from another mother!" Ash said holding up his hand to high-five Drew but failing. Dawn fainted again and May laughed nervously. Brock didn't pay any attention. He was too busy staring at a pretty lady across the street  
"I'm hungry! Let's go inside and wank." He smiled walking into the restaurant. Everyone else nervously followed, slightly scared. May and Drew had to carry Dawn inside because she was still unconscious. They finally found a table and flipped through the menus. "So what are you guys wanking?" Ash asked. Dawn who had finally woken up again fainted... again  
"Ash you should have manners at the table!" May shouted angered that he made Dawn faint again  
"Oh... titties." Ash chuckled nervously  
"Ash, stop it!" Brock shouted this time while Drew was helping Dawn up  
"What did I do?" he said  
"You said the t-word!" he shouted  
"You mean titties? But I was remembering my manners." He whined, Dawn fainted again  
"Oh man she just woke up as well!" Drew moaned trying to help up Dawn. May gave Ash an evil look and also helped, help up Dawn  
"Ash, titties is a bad word!" Brock shouted  
"Oh I didn't know sorry..." he looked away. Dawn was finally back in her seat but unconscious. May looked over to Ash  
"Ash I have to tell you something important." She smiled  
"Oh me first!" Ash beamed "May I have finally earned enough money to buy you a new orgasm." He smiled  
"What?" May asked disgusted  
"Oh sorry. I said I can buy you a new orgasm now." Ash smiled and Pikachu cheered  
"How dare you!" Drew stood up and he punched Ash in the face. Ash fell onto the ground unconscious

Ash slowly woke up and found May, Drew, Pikachu, Dawn, Brock and Gary staring at him. "What happened? When did Gary get here?" Ash asked  
"Drew punched you in the face and you were knocked out." May explained "Gary then came here and told us that you didn't mean to offend us."  
"Oh. Thanks Gary, you really saved me. They don't like your new slang words." Ash smiled but Gary panicked. Now everyone knew he was the one who taught Ash those dirty words  
"Gary, it was you who told Ash those horrifying words?" Dawn asked angry  
"Um, yeah. Sorry! I thought it would be funny but then I saw him get hit. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt." Gary said scratching the back of his head  
"You were watching me?" Ash asked  
"Yeah. I was watching you all day... sorry!" he looked away  
"Sorry I hit you Ash. I thought you were trying to flirt with May." Drew explained  
"Why would you care so much?" Ash asked  
"Oh Ash what I was going to tell you earlier... Drew and I are together now. Isn't it wonderful?" May smiled  
"That's great!" Ash, Brock and Dawn shouted. Pikachu cheered and Gary stayed silent. He didn't know May and Drew so well  
"So I'm going to be wanking anal and drinking cock!" Ash smiled while Gary laughed so hard he fell on the floor while Pikachu cheered. Dawn fainted and accidently landed on Pikachu  
"Um... Ash those are also bad words" May said trying to help Dawn up while Brock helped Pikachu who was also unconscious now  
"Oh... Well I'm glad I got a bitch like you to help me realise what's shit and what's fuck!" Ash hugged May. Gary laughed some more. Dawn fainted again (she only just got up). Drew punched Ash again. May blushed and Brock panicked. The waitress kicked everyone out of the restaurant because of the bad language, the fact there were some unconscious people and because there was a Pokémon out of it's pokéball.

* * *

**In case you didn't read the important notice earlier:  
**Gary teaches Ash some swear words and pretends they are 'slang' words. Ash is an idiot and believes him  
Following 'slang (swear) words and meaning: **[Warning people who do not like bad language do not read any further]**  
Shit = Cool  
Fuck = yeah/bad  
Bum = Hug  
Gay = tired  
Homo-fag = Brother  
Wank/wanking = eat/eating  
Titties = Sorry  
Orgasm = Bike  
Anal = Noodles  
Cock = Coke  
Bitch = Best Friend

**Author's Note: **Hope you enjoyed the story x


End file.
